move on ..

Missed the train
The train called time
Left here alone
Everyone is gone
Darkness prevails, inside and outside
The soul is lost
Mind ruled by some ghost
Now you like it here
You like these thoughts
Which give you the pain
Again and again

The heart is hurt
Covered with dirt
There is nothing you could feel
And you don’t want to heal

You used to sit and think,
Now you sit and stare…
You laughed and cried,
Now everything in you has died…
You are just a machine which rusts with time….

Hide from them
Hide from yourself,
Hide from the light, hide from the darkness
Eyes red, thousand battles in the head
The soul is wounded
Conscious is dead

You walk, reach nowhere
You sleep, eyes won’t close
You talk, words won’t come out
The past fucks the present, the future is born dead

The pain is the addiction now…
Addiction is the true form of love…
The pain inside spreads like a tumour…
God has the best sense of humour…

Collected thousand lies
To kill the truth of life before life dies
The fate shakes hands with death
Conspires to take away your every breath

They taught to move on
Moved on so fast that end is near
Death is not a fear
And now it is here

A Shippy life ...

A beautiful picture of a ship, once i drew

Whether the ship is floating or drowning, no one knew

Praised it was as a master piece of art

But the meaning, always haunted my thought

Time passed by, revealing the secrets of the life

Every moment of which i relished, happy and safe

Hit by a heavy storm in the strife

Ripped apart the ship like a knife

Once again the picture of ship came into mind

For now it had a meaning of emotional kind

My life is now a floating ship

Hit my more storms, and beyond my grip

Loud thunder wreck the ship to shudder

Would i reach the shore, sometimes i wonder

Drowning and floating seems to be the part of the game

This truth once realized, no one would we blame

A day is destined to come

Filling my life with whole lot of fun

Lost would i be amongst my loved some

And my ship would still sail for the times to come

speak this time !

क्या कव्वा कभी प्यासा था?
क्या आशा का एक अर्थ निराशा था?
जब भी मुड़ के देखता हूँ तो माँ दिखाई देती है,
और आगे देखता हूँ तो तमा दिखाई देती है !

क्या सपने वो थे जो रात को देख कर सुबह भूल जाया करता था,
या जो दिन में देखे थे और भुला के भी नहीं भूल पाया !

सपनों की तीव्र धारा में बहता चला गया,
सोचा था तैरना सीखूंगा पर डूबना भी नहीं सिख पाया,
सोचा था किनारे की दलदल ही बेहतर होगी ,
कहाँ समझ थी ,भंवर की दशा तो और भी बदतर हो गयी !

घड़ी के साथ ,
भंवर की गति धीरे हो गयी
और पानी की जंजीरें हो गयी ,
ज़िन्दगी भर ये कहता चला गया
जीना नहीं सीखा पर जीना सीख गया
कहाँ जीना सीखा मैं तो पीना सीख गया !

just turn the page ...

So many things happen around us and it just goes past whooshing away like a quick breeze , its too hard for you to get over it but sometime later you realize it was just a whiff.....

And that you dont give a F* about it.

It really hurts when you are at the crux of a situation , at the brink of getting what you want and you say something dumb and gone you lost it !!

But if you analyze u'll realize what you said isn't dumb you said it for a reason .

like for example say, this beautiful air hostess you meet and you have a nice lil chat , and things are just going perfect for you know "what" .

and just before you get the phone number you accidentally end up knowing her age .

then thats it !! your dumb Grey matter makes you say " hi ther aunty !! "

and you get this reply " sir ! would you like some water? "

you would think it was so dumb on your part to say so , but later you prudence tells you

" man ! , would u date some one who is 6 years older then you ?? not me! "

........ This will keep getting back to you , time and again as this is a part of you Id but your super ego keeps this down below your ego as your super ego controls your social image ......

" TIME OUT !! ... turn the page .... time for next cognitive psychology chapter ..... "

A Potato Tale .....

Well, girl Potato and boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato,which they called Yam.

Of course, they wanted the best for yam.When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked,so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like Hot Potato end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.When she went off to Europe, Mr and Mrs Potato told Yam to watch out for the hardboiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Red Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds,or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, Frito Lay.

Mr and Mrs Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Kartoffel/Tartufoli.
" Kartoffel/Tartufoli.", Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Kartoffel/Tartufoli , because he's just.......
A COMMON TATER .... :D

"Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears"

Finally back to business .... lemme give u some gyan and a few of my real life experiences, which i might forget, on PATIENCE ....

this post is specially dedicated to a friend of mine who was the whip that forced me , in getting me back to put up my crappy ideas and thoughts and of course my priceless experiences back online .......

So coming back to the point now....where was i ?? patience .... yea ...
i never knew what patience was ...i asked my friends and others what it was .... they all had something different to say ....



"patience :- when time pisses off your basic necessity "

One of those days , in my hostel ... the days which was called "the period of the booze , smoke and grass" ... something like the Jurassic , Triassic period... but very much different but yet very much same .... i heard laughs and yells, i heard someone say " i am jumping off the 10th floor, n here i go .... aaaaaa .... " .
i knew something was wrong .... wrong not that the guy will jump off or anything ... it was wrong that the hostel had only 4 floors .

i went to the top floor and entered "the" room, saying " guys its not even midnight, and not even time ...". all i could see was booze and smoke .... man were they drunk as hell !!

This guy here started off " yaar , this time and PATIENCE things really piss me off .... "
i said ," dude take a break ....."
he said " yea ok ... i think ... Nature is calling me .. move ... i gota go .... "

then i sat around for an hour or so ... abusing our beloved profs with em ..... and n as i walked out i saw the same guy standing outside the wash room confused .... he had the same look on his face
as if someone had asked to find a circle's corner.

i asked him " kya hua dosth??'
he said " yaar pata nahi yehan kyon aaya thaa?? "

apparently the booze made him forget that "NATURE was calling him ... " .




"patience: something very important in exam , but often disregarded "

This is something that happened in one of my pre-boards .... it was chem exam
, the only exam where we hate the invigilator more than the paper itself, and to the limit that day unfortunately it was our very own chem teaching female who was invigilating. So , coming to the incident , there was this kinda freak numerical prob, i accidentally happened to crack it and the guy sitting behind me , kulla ,
said "oye ! numerical answer kar liya naa ? "
i said "haan ho gaya .."
then he said "abe toh bolna padega kya ? dikha toh sahi .... "

i was in a exceptionally helping mood unlike i usually am ... and started explaining all the crap PATIENTLY it took almost 5 mins to finish explaining , i tell u whispering for 5 long minutes is not a easy deal !! ,

then i said " samajh gaya naa ... nahi toh bol phir se bol doonga ... "
he said " yaar woh 3rd step phir se bata .."

it took me 2 more minutes to tell him the damn thing ... and even after that my heart poured out with generosity and i started dictating the whole answer line by line , dot to dot .... and he said "haan" after every syllable i spoke ......

and chem teacher had no clue that we've been having a chat for the last 10 or 15 mins ...
all along i was looking forward and god!! i was under a very wrong impression ...

when the exam had come almost to a "sudden death" situation kulla spoke ...
" oye nit .... woh numerical waala sheet paas kar de ,...."

i said "kya baat kar raha hai !!!!!!!... poora dictate kar toh diya thaa ... tu haan bhi toh kaha thaa...??????? "

he said " yaar start nahi kar paaya ..."

man i tell u .. i have never been so so so much annoyed ....



and i have heard occasionally patience does pay off well ..... but for me ......

what it took to be a senior!!

The day i joined iit as i entered my hostel,i saw a few semi-barbaric creatures engaged in what appeared to me as a feud.
i said to myself, "yaar does this asylum house a few of the best 4000 brains in the country i doubt it!!"

first few days till my parents where there,i felt being watched as a predator watches its prey.Just after they left,that afternoon me and my friend(punit) were heading towards the mess..

some voice blared,"abe are you both facchae ? chal hamare saath lunch khaa"
so there were 4 of them a big fat one(thodu),a guy with a feminine look(chakku),a short shrewd looking one(chuha),a thin guy with real long hair(matchis)..we got our unch and sat down..

matchis --"saale dono apne apne intro doh...aur dheere khana..."



me-- "my name is s.nitish sivaramakrishnan,i have come to IIT guwahati,and i have joined......"



chakku-- "abe saala..yeh naam hai ki train... apane naam ke saath kya lagaya hai,... aur intro pure hindi mei chaalu kar.."




me--"mera naam nitish hai...aur mai bharatiya proudyogiki saansthan mei ......"



thodu---" oye beedu, tu kaal tak complete kar lena...(to my friend)..tu start ho jaa bachoo"



punit--" mera naam punit hai, aur...."



chakku--"chal chal bas kar....abe chuhe tu kuch bolna yaar....(towards me)..... saale isko dekh.... ghap ghap khaa raha hai..dheere khane ko kaha na!!"



chuha--"abe nit.. jo bhi hai....tu gaali dhe...kuch naaya waaala...."



me--" bhaiyya kisko gaali doon...aapko?..nahi mai bas pooch raha...."



matchis --"abe tu over smart ban raha hai kya? saale tu khade ho ja....."

(i stood up )



thodu--" ab chilla ke bol..yehan pe koi mai ki lal ho toh, aake mujhe phodein"

(i was nervous but i said that nice and loud)




matchis--"abe facchon...what were we doing with you all this time now...?"



me--"nothing bhaiyya...we were talking"


thodu--"aah...i think tumne kuch nahi sikha..phir se sikhana padega.."



me --"nahi nahi bhaiyya....we learnt ..ragging ke bare mei sikha...."



chakku--"abe ragging bolta hai toh ...apne ko complaint karega kya?.."



me --"never mai aisa nahi karoonga...."



matchis--"abhi jo hua...uska naam PDP hai.....kya? personality development programme "



chakku--" abe chuhe ...inn facchon se dar gaya kya tu?...kuch bol be.."



chuha--(in whispers)" abe yeh dholu ..frustagaya...pareshaan hai....abe kahin DISCO(disciplinary committee) chakkar na ho jaye.."

a sense of realization struck those savage beasts....and the plump one said
--"abe kaafi entertainment dhe diya tum loge...bakar mar liya...abhi kat lo.."

And many such programmes shaped me ,trained me,moulded me to be one of them, now its almost been a year since those memories...and now to my senses i see myself on the other side of the fence and can almost hear a newcomer say it aloud--

"yaar does this asylum house a few of the best 4000 brains in the country i doubt it!!"

And today i stand proudly proclaiming myself --a typical iitian senior!!



*i have reformed the above to make it free of slangs,unlike what it was!!